Finding Love at an All Inclusive: 10 Stories of Getting your Groove Back

Now I'm not sure what the state of dating is where you all come from, but in Toronto its cold out here in these streets for my plus size mamas. Like most of the plus size ladies I've spoken to, we swear we'd be married already if we were to live in the States or abroad. So it's not completely out of the norm to look for love while travelling.

One girlfriend I went on vacation with, met a little bartender in Jamaica. The words coming out of his mouth were sweeter than honey. He invited her out for the evening so he could whisper sweet nothings in her ear.( I cannot stress enough how important it is to make sure someone knows where you are going and who you are with. I don't care how old you are. )

Bartenders are the best at talking up the ladies!

Bartenders are the best at talking up the ladies!

I remember once meeting a guy on Tinder. He lived in Buffalo, and I lived in Toronto. After we spoke at length on the phone and whatsapp, we decided to meet. It was more convenient for me to go to Buffalo to meet him. Before even laying eyes on each other, I had sent his name, phone number, and profile picture to one of my girlfriends. Within 5 minutes of me meeting him, I had snuck a picture of his license plate and a picture of him without him even noticing.  I can't guarantee that I won't be on an episode of the First 48, but trust me, they will solve my case in 1.5 hours!

Anyways, back to love at an all inclusive. After I collected all the info that I could about her date, she went off into the night. Now this was about 9pmish at night. Being the nosey friend that I am, I decided to wait up. Midnight passed, 1am......I finally fell asleep at about 3 am and she wasn't back as yet!!!! I said to myself  "World Boss, just go to bed and when you wake up she'll be there". And that's what I did. At 7am when I opened my eyes, her bed was still not slept in. At this point I started to fear for my life. Yes my life! How was I going to go back to Canada and explain to her parents that I lost their child??? That I just allowed her to leave and go off on her own?? I think it was after 9am that this girl casually strolled in as though she didn't just cause me a mild heart attack. Talking about what a great night!! Seriously!? Perhaps this is why it's best to travel solo, you won't have friends who make you research how to apply for protective custody!!!

Don't get me wrong, I absolutely think it's possible to meet the love of your life while travelling. I'm just not positive that that's going to come from an all inclusive vacay. At all inclusive hotels, there's a sub culture associated with working in the hotels. The culture is for the men to make the women feel special, loved and attractive. This keeps the women coming back, but it also opens up the door for the hotel workers to meet a nice foreigner, perhaps have them send nice gifts back for them when they return home, or for the grand prize of marriage, and possibility of moving abroad in search of a better life.

The thing is, we know about this sub-culture (well at least me and my friends do! No 90 Day Fiancé over here!!!!) But sometimes "Stella" just needs to get her groove back. I've come up with a list of 10 sex-uations that have happened to some of the women that I know. Predicaments that we perhaps should be ashamed of, but not! Note: All women's names have been changed to protect their identities!

1. Shelly* jumped over a wire fence at an all inclusive in order to get to her local lover on the other side, to make love on the beach. Now if that isn't romance!?

Typical views at an all inclusive....

Typical views at an all inclusive....

2. Nancy* found herself locked out on her balcony by her roommate, so she figured that she might as well join the mile high club and did it right there overlooking the ocean. Once her roommate unlocked the balcony, she moved into the bedroom. She got so into it that the mattress fell off the bed. (That did not stop them btw.)

3. Everton* invited Amanda* out for a bite to eat. Afterwards he told her that there's somewhere special that he'd like to show her. They proceeded up a hill in the dark night only to end up at Everton's one bedroom home in the hills. While Everton left to buy a condom, 2 people from the neighbourhood started to fight right outside of Everton's room.  She was so terrified that she hid under Everton's bed until he returned. Ha! (In case you're wondering, she got over her fears rather quickly once Everton returned.)

4. Picture it, a beautiful night in Jamaica. Samantha* went to Margaritaville with her friends to dance the night away. Along comes a sexy dread who tells her how beautiful she is. He asks if he can show her somewhere special. It turns out he had a little secret hiding spot underneath Margaritaville. (Who knew...and how does one find this information out???!!!) And just like that, Boom! Samantha got her groove back with no one being the wiser.

5. Olga* decided to live as her alter ego, a very forward sex kitten. While in Mexico she came across a tourist from the US that caught her eye. He was sitting alone on the beach. She asked him if he was going to go for a swim, and he said he didn't have any swimwear under his clothes. She said neither does she. She proceeded to take off all her clothes and ran in the ocean. He did the same and followed her in.  A lonely skinny dip for one turned into a sexy skinny dip for two!

6. Christine* met a bartender that she found kinda cute. Of course staff working at the hotels can't go back to the rooms. So the bartender just kept serving her drinks and flirted every opportunity that he had.  Christine excused herself from the bar to go the ladies room. When she turned to lock the door, the bartender was right behind her. And right there and then in the ladies washroom, it went down!! (and so did the bartender...hehehe)

Dranksssssss!!! 

Dranksssssss!!! 

7. Sometimes when you're on vacation, you aren't like me who travels solo. Maggie* was rooming with her best friend when she met a sexy guy on the beach, who handles the beach chairs. It was her last night of vacation and she really wanted to see a little more of her new boo. Her roommate was exhausted and didn't want to leave the room. So she waited for her to fall asleep, and did it right next to her roomie. I mean, if you gotta have it, you gotta get it!

Cute boy watching in Tobago.....

Cute boy watching in Tobago.....

8. Jessica* found a beautiful Dominican man selling souvenirs in a makeshift store on the beach. She climbed up and back down a steep hill in order to find a secluded area of the beach to have a little privacy with him. They made love under the stars. The following day, she thinks he was in love and crossed the security line on the beach that led to her hotel. He was then fired from his job because of it.

9.  Mildred* found an abandoned board house in the bushes. It's not like she could bring her new bartender friend back to her room. They had to keep the door slightly open to get air to even circulate in the room! She couldn't see a damn thing out the door, just pitch blackness! But guess what? Who needs light? Not Mildred!

10. Lydia* went on vacation to the islands by herself. She was spending 3 nights away. She just wanted some time to herself. She figured that she'd turn on her tinder and meet some new people. And that she did. Every night Lydia had a date with a different man. Each man pleased Lydia in different ways. 3 nights.....3 men... Lydia is a boss. Ha!

I'm so ashamed and proud of my friends all at the same time! lol  **Just a reminder, all names have been changed. And don't even bother trying to guess!

So tell me some of your stories. Have you ever gone on vacation and gotten your groove back?