Frolicking in the Nude at Hedonism II: A Plus Sized Perspective
If you are the judgmental, closed minded and don't play nicely with strangers type, Hedonism II might not be for you. However, if the thought of you walking around nude sounds liberating, you are open to meeting and getting to know like minded people, and you have an adventurous side that you'd like to explore, you're in luck...keep reading!
It's a process for me to decide where I'll be travelling to next. I don't want to be repetitive with places that I visit, and I also like places that I can find a little adventure. I only had a few days off that I was able to travel with, but I wanted to find something different, something out of the norm. Then I came across Hedonism II, a clothing optional resort in Negril Jamaica. I'm always talking about body positivity and being confident as a plus size woman, so surely I would be ok with baring all in front of strangers right? So I booked it. To encourage me to go nude (read as: so I wouldn't chicken out) I requested a room on the nude side of the hotel. Let me explain; Hedonism II has a nude and a prude side. The prude side is clothing optional. So you can feel free to enjoy the beach while still wearing your clothes or swimsuits. The nude side however is totally nude. You can walk onto the beach with your swimsuit and cover up on, but you have only a few minutes before you have to strip everything off into your birthday suit. When I booked, I assumed that you'd have to be nude at the beach or pool, but when you're ready to grab a drink from the bar or grab some lunch from the nude side grill, you'd put your cover up on or your swimsuit on. NOPE. On the nude side you do everything naked....walk to the bar, grab lunch, chit chat, play bocce ball..EVERYTHING NUDE.
So off I went. While on the plane to Jamaica, they gave out the customs cards that had to be filled out before you arrived to your destination. One of the questions that they ask on the form is where you'll be staying. UUgghhhh... Now in Jamaica, everyone knows about Hedonism. If you speak to a lot of Jamaicans and mention Hedonism, the first question that they ask you is 'what are you doing there?' with a big smirk on their face. Their assumption is that Hedo is the place where big group orgies happen at all times during the day. I really didn't feel like getting the side eye from the custom agents when I arrived, so I actually considered lying on my form. Yes yes I know, that's an offense. But being a solo traveler, and because God loves to play jokes on me all the time, I knew for certain that I'd get a male customs agent who'd give me the 'Oh I know where you're going' wink. Upon further thought I decided to not lie, because God forbid they caught me and banished me from my home away from home. Luckily for me, when I got into the airport I was directed to an automated machine rather than an agent...Score!! Ha! I didn't have so much luck however when a bellman was escorting me with my suitcase to my shuttle bus, and there was a group of male drivers waiting for their buses to be filled, and he decided to yell out 'Hedo' to figure out which bus I was supposed to go on. Really? There was no other way to find my bus driver than to yell out Hedo??? Sighhhh.... I felt like I was doing the walk of shame. Sometimes a girl just has to hold her head high, and keep it moving.
After checking in, I headed to my room to get this vacay started. One thing I noticed was that the curtains were closed in all the rooms. Hmmmmm that's odd. Usually the drapes are wide open in hotels so guests can take advantage of the tropical view. So I peeked my head through the drapes and was immediately greeted with 2 naked guests! What have I done????? What am I doing here??? I thought by being on the nude side I'd be closer to the nude beach. I did not know however, that guests are free to walk back and forth on the property totally nude! If anyone wants to know what a mild heart attack feels like, please private message me. I had two! Hedonism II is currently being renovated. Luckily for me I was in one of the renovated rooms. Totally updated bathroom with room for about 4 people in the shower and 2 shower heads. It also had a red light, to create a little naughty mood. The room also had.... wait for it...wait for it..... A ceiling mirror!!!!! Ha! I should probably put that to good use. Like it would be a waste if I didn't, no?
I have to be honest, on my first day I totally chickened out from the nude side. There wasn't enough alcohol at the bar that would have gotten me to walk over there. I'm no prude or anything, but walking naked just isn't natural for me in public. There were a handful of people nude on the prude side, so it's not like I wasn't exposed to them, but I just wasn't ready. I actually admired those people who walked nude and had no cares in the world. I saw one older woman jogging nude on the beach! Like what level of confidence do you have to have to feel free to jog, swim, walk, and chit chat with each other nude? Those people are now my heroes.
By day 2, I ran into Ilesha, one of the entertainment staff members at Hedonism (BTW, the entertainment staff at Hedo is hands down the best entertainment staff that I have come across in all my adventures.) She asked if I've made it to the other side as yet, and when I said no, she said today is the day. I asked the bartender to make me something extra strong, and took Ilesha's lead and walked over to the nude side. When we got to the nude pool side, thankfully everyone's attention was on the twerking competition going on. So I peeled off my clothes in record time and hopped onto the beach chair. To my shock, the music didn't stop playing, all the guests didn't stop to stare... quite frankly NOBODY CARED!!!! Not one person stopped to stare at me. My insecurities were all in my head. I built up what others would think of me in my head, and carried that on my shoulder. I figured surely the plus size girl would stick out; Nope. Every last person was there to have a good time. There were hairy dudes, hairless dudes, skinny women, fat women, little penis men, big penis men (yasssss!) and no one could care less. The only concerns they had were; was your attitude right? Were you open to meeting new people? I was talking to one lady in the pool and she said when you're nude at Hedonism the only worry you have is whether toilet paper is stuck to your ass!
Now to be totally transparent here. It is not all cartwheels and holding hands and singing kumbaya at Hedonism II..... it is called Hedonism for a reason. Now again, if you are a little more on the prudish side, please feel free to stay on the prude side. However on the nude side, you're gonna see some thangs! Maybe even participate in some thaaaaaangs!! What I did not know was the high percentage of swingers at Hedo. A regular greeting was 'Are you part of the lifestyle?' They pretty much wanna know if you're ready to get down with them and their partners. And when I say get down, I mean it. You will see sex. I almost choked on my rum punch when I saw a dude receiving fellatio in broad daylight. I didn't know where to look. But as it turns out, they wanted you to look (ok, well if you insist!) You will get invited to the playroom (a couples only room that is open nightly. Only couples are allowed in, and singles can go in if a couple invites them.) You will walk past open room doors and see couples devouring each other, then buck your big toe on the step because you're so caught off guard! This is the place where all inhibitions are let go. You're allowed to be free and to make your fantasies come true. I know you guys probably wanted a little more juice, but to be honest, you'll have to go there and experience it for yourself.
The only rules at Hedonism II is to just let yourself be free and have fun. Oh and no photography... definitely no photography (Can you imagine recognizing your ass cheek in someone's pic on instagram????)
Things You Should Know:
Pack accordingly. You'd think because I was going to a clothing optional resort that I'd probably only have a towel and a pair of flip flops in my suitcase. Quite the contrary. Hedonism II has theme nights and people take it quite seriously. So check out their website first so you'll be prepared.
I'd like to shout out my Steve Madden sunglasses that felt like they were surgically glued to my face. They came in handy when I was talking to my new nude friends. Like how is it possible to have a serious conversation with someone without looking down when they are nude???? Impossible! Thank you sunglasses, you saved my life.
When I booked at Hedonism, I figured that no one knows me there. So I'm just gonna let loose and have fun. Remember earlier when I mentioned that God loves to play jokes on me, yeah well.... it turns out that people do know me there!!! Hahahahaha I ran into a couple that I know from Toronto and an ex! Yes, an ex! Can a girl not just frolic in the nude in peace???? It actually didn't turn out bad at all, but it just goes to show that I could never live a life of crime, because way too many people know me!
There is way too much to write in one post, so look out for my next one when I delve a little further into the Swinger Lifestyle!