Jamaica Hates Me!

I'm almost positive that you guys are tired of me talking about Jamaica. But it's my second home. I really had no intentions of going back to Jamaica so soon. But the untimely death of my beautiful Godmother caused me to book a flight so I could attend her home going service.

As a blogger, you have to take advantage of every situation. So you know that I packed a few swimsuits in hopes that after my Godmothers home going, I could finally hit the beach to do my swimsuit shoot that I've been dying to do since my last trip to Jamaica, when I came in the middle of some massive flooding. But what was I thinking? How dare I try and be positive about going to a beach in Jamaica!!! Jamaica hates me!!!

Firstly, I almost didn't make it to Jamaica. Two days before my flight I caught the flu. Is it even flu season? I was at work and I couldn't stop shaking. By the time I got home, I could barely stand. My body was burning up, and I couldn't keep my eyes open. I honestly thought I was going to die, but then I remembered that my flight to Jamaica wasn't insured sooooooooooo even if they had to roll me onto the plane on a stretcher, I was going!!!!!

Have you guys tried the breakfast at Smash Burger??? Delish!

Have you guys tried the breakfast at Smash Burger??? Delish!

One of my fears about travelling is forgetting to pack something that I need. I pride myself on sticking to a checklist. But since I packed while battling the flu, chances were high that I'd forget something. Well, you know what I forgot??? Sunglasses! It wasn't until I was at the airport that I realized that I forgot to pack one of my many sunglasses. And I'll just note, I do not believe in buying expensive glasses. Mine cost about $25 each..max!!! So I was tres (I speak French when I'd like to emphasis my annoyance!) annoyed. I walked around the airport to see if I could find a pair to buy. Some of you have a lot of disposable income because they had sunglasses in there for $500 +. Where do you guys work? Who can afford these? I finally found a kiosk that sold shades and settled on a pair for $60. I was not happy, but I'm on my way to a tropical country, so they're needed. I'll get back to these glasses a little later.

As we were descending into Kingston Jamaica, the pilot let us know that it was raining.  Of course it was raining. If you guys remember my very first blog post, I landed in Jamaica the day before Hurricane Matthew. Then last month I went to Jamaica, and it was extreme flooding. So surely God would give me a break on this trip and allow me to have a few beach days, no? NOPE! It was raining when I landed and it had no intention of stopping. I almost didn't make it to my Godmothers funeral!

This time around I decided to stay with my Dad who lives in Manchester. That's country for those who aren't that familiar. It's a lot of bush pretty much, but it was beautiful.

Views from the hills in Manchester

Views from the hills in Manchester

More views.....

More views.....

I was starving when I landed, and there was no KFC in sight. So my Dad stopped at Juici Patties. Why did no one ever tell me about their fried chicken???? Here I am raving about KFC, and Juici Patties has been here all along. Listen, I was in carb heaven! When you order a 2 piece meal, you not only get 2 pieces of chicken, but you get fries, wedges and a mini cocoa bread!! Yassssss!

Carb heaven!

Carb heaven!

On the morning of the funeral, it was pouring. My Dad warned me that there's a strong possibility that we wouldn't make the funeral.  Because Manchester is a lot of hills, and we had to pass a lot of flat land in order to get to the funeral, a lot of water was accumulating in the flat areas that ran down from the hills. We totally passed a car that was submerged under water.

 Not sure why he thought he'd make it across.  Like I'm saying, if water is coming up to my eye level, chances are your car can't make it through. Just saying! Although 2 of the 3 roads that we tried to use were totally flooded and we had to turn back, thank God I was able to make the funeral. I would have been heartbroken if I didn't make it.

My funeral attire. I had to borrow these boots, since the cute little sandals that I packed weren't gonna cut it!

My funeral attire. I had to borrow these boots, since the cute little sandals that I packed weren't gonna cut it!

The last time I was in Jamaica I ate my way through my trip since I was battling floods. This time I drank my way through the trip, cause that's what you do in the islands. The whole North American mentality where you go to work, then you go home, sleep and repeat doesn't work in Jamaica.  Most people after a hard days work, stop at a little rum bar on their way home to have a drink and talk to friends who are doing the same thing. More than likely, you'll already know the people in the bar. Chances are, even if you started out as strangers, you'll leave as acquaintances. When my Dad walked in, it kinda felt like Norm on Cheers...where everybody knows your name ( you started to sing the Cheers song in your head didn't you? Ha!) It's times like this that I really wonder if I should trade in my North American corporate life, for a more laid back island life.  But the way how my bank account is set up.... right now my paycheque is life! But I'm still working on the master plan. It will happen!

I love the fresh fruits and vegetables that are everywhere in Jamaica!

I love the fresh fruits and vegetables that are everywhere in Jamaica!

And for my beautiful plus size ladies....girrllllls, countrymen love us! I might as well been wearing a crown because I was treated like a Queen. Now if you're okay with living a simpler more quiet life, maybe work on your own farm; Manchester might be for you.

And one other thing. While I was in one of the rum bars. A gentleman kept trying to get my attention. He heard me to talking to the bartender about a drink that I wanted to try and he went ahead and sent me that drink. So I acted like I was in the movies and lifted my glass to him and gave him a nod and mouthed thank you (that's what you do when a stranger buys you a drink right?) He asked me a question after, and I started to give him a lengthy answer. Halfway through my answer he interrupted me and said 'I haven't heard one word that you've said. I've been too busy staring at that beautiful gap in your teeth.' I included this in my blog because many times I've gone to the dentist and the dentist has asked me if I wanted her to close the gap at the front of my mouth. And each time I say no. I feel like it's part of me. It sets me apart. I tell my dentist that it gives me character. A lot of times in life, we are insecure about certain parts of our bodies. And we go out searching for remedies to fix it, to find perfection. But sometimes those very things that we don't like about ourselves are the things that attract others. So be weird, eat the chocolate, don't eat the chocolate, go bald, get that tattoo. Be you. And the right person will appreciate you for it.

Just here chillin with my gap.

Just here chillin with my gap.

 

Things to know:

-This post is dedicated to my wonderful Godmother Hermine Morgan.

-I actually experienced my first 4 hour funeral. 4 hours!!!! I mean I've heard about churches in Jamaica lasting a long time. But I'm gonna go ahead and say 4 hours might be a record!

-Remember those sunglasses that I talked about earlier? Yeah.....So guess when I got to wear them?? NEVER! It rained the whole time I was there. Actually I'm lying. Guess when the sun decided to peek its little head??? On my way to the airport to go home! I was not a happy camper. So anyways, here's a pic of me wearing the glasses in my HOUSE IN TORONTO!! These glasses will not go to waste! $60...damn!

With the sticker still on it and everything! This is my "I'm not happy" face!

With the sticker still on it and everything! This is my "I'm not happy" face!

-Since my Dad lives in JA, we rarely get to spend Father's Day together. It just happened that I was there Father's Day weekend. So here we are!